Dog gone days

Posted by Karas on December 1, 2011 · 5 Comments

April 9, 2009 – It was the Thursday before Easter and our daughter, Payton, was on Spring Break. We had been invited to our friend’s house that day for a cookout. We were to head over around 3pm. Before we went over, I had cleaned the kitchen, gone grocery shopping, I had cooked a mean ass chip dip for the cookout. While I completed my “motherly chores” the kids rode their bikes inside the house (yep, inside!) and Kevin, my husband, watched his beloved Yankees play. Three o’clock snuck up on us before we knew it so off we went leaving the dirty dishes from cooking in the sink and some of the groceries were still sitting on the countertop waiting to be put away.

It was the first time we had been to our friends home. Although they only lived one street over from us, we didn’t know of one another until our daughters were in the same preschool class together. So when we got there I handed over the dip that I had just made and began pouring over how much I liked their house. Kevin joined in. We loved their hardwood floors, non-puke stained couch, the light colors that gleamed on the walls, how it didn’t smell of cat and dog pee…it was everything our house wasn’t…it looked new! Granted we had only been in our newly built house for four years but in those four years, even the new furniture had been stained for 3 of those years. When you walked in the front door this pungent smell of cat and dog urine would smack you hard in the face. We had a lot we didn’t particularly like about our house and that day we let it all be known.

My phone started to ring. I noticed the ring. It was my mom’s ring. I had just talked to her and told her our plans. Why is she calling. But before I made it to the phone, it began a new ring. Then my mom again. As I picked up and listened, I must have made a face because Kevin was at the door with keys in hand. “Karas! Karas! You’re house is on fire! Your house is on fire!” I heard what she said and yet could not comprehend a word. But Kevin saw the look on my face! I hung up the phone and before I was able to finish the sentence, Kevin was out the door. Amy drove me over to our house and her husband stayed behind to watch the kids.

As we pulled up so did the firemen. I watched as Kevin and his brother, David, try to break windows so they could get to Saige… my dog that I’ve had since the beginning of my sophomore year in college. Saige was like my first-born child. She has always been an amazing dog. It’s hard to call her a ‘dog’ because she’s so humanlike… The firemen kept pulling Kevin and David back. It seemed like an eternity before the firemen made their way into the house. As they busted the front window and entered the house, all you could see was thick, black smoke pouring out, the steady scream of the fire alarms going off could be heard a mile away and the smell of burning wood stung my nose. The only thing that Kevin and I cared about was Saige. I listened as my husband screamed her name repeatedly. I couldn’t get myself under control. I just kept thinking about life without my Saige. The night I brought her home she hid behind whatever she could and her little body just shivered. I knew that something wasn’t right because a 5 week old puppy should not be that scared. So the next morning I took her to the vet where it was confirmed that she had been abused. I vowed to her that I’d give her the best life ever, I promised her that I’d always be there for her and from that moment on she and I were inseparable. For almost 14 years I have lived up to my word but that day I begged God to please let her be ok. My mind was wrapped around the image of her once again shivering, scared, trying to hide from the fire and smoke, not knowing what was happening, needing me and I was not there. If this was a nightmare then someone PLEASE wake me up!

My Saige Bear or as Kevin called her "Teddy Bear".

Nobody had to say a word. The look on Kevin’s face said it all. We had lost Saige in our house fire. The firemen found her…hiding…They had found her in Jett’s room under his crib. They did try to give her oxygen from a mask but at no avail. They said that she had not been burned but passed away due to smoke inhalation. They explained how someone passes away from it and reassured us that she just fell asleep, she did not suffer and this was a “peaceful” way for someone to die. After everything had calmed down, the neighbors were back in their homes, the firemen and the tv crew were gone, I asked Kevin to bring Saige outside so I could see her before he took her to get cremated. I held her tight and I apologized to her for not being there when she needed me. I told her how much I love her and how I always will. I thanked her for being my best friend. I didn’t want to let go. I kissed her over and over and I cried, I sobbed. As Kevin drove away with my baby, I realized that maybe God did listen to me. Things happen for a reason. Saige was showing signs of deteriorating lately. Maybe she was showing her age or maybe she was getting sick. Sooner or later it would be time to make “the decision” on what to do but this way God took control. She died peacefully this way. I just may be blowing smoke by thinking this way but it gets me through each day.

I want to share with you something that I’ve learned during my life… although God works in mysterious ways, I truly feel that things do happen for a reason. At the time, your situation may be the worst thing ever but the reason is always wonderful. God knows what he’s doing. Sometimes it truly is best to let go and let God take over. Whether it’s a sick kid, a new puppy, losing a loved one or anything in between, God is leading the way and you will be ok. So never feel sorry for yourself because ALL of us have hit bumps in the road. It’s how you handle those bumps that define you as a person. I clearly like to cuss at those stupid ass bumps just to let them know who’s in charge!